Bad Tidings: The Unending Quest For Ultimate Mediocrity

THE SEARCH FOR MEDIOCRITY

I want to introduce you to a hypothetical man named John Smith. John Smith is a private citizen. That means that he is not hampered by political directives or policies at federal, state or local levels. But John thinks he is "just a civilian". John has sought mediocrity his entire life. John was bred to be mediocre from the time he was enrolled in first grade. It is what he was trained for since birth....don't make waves...be a nice guy...you can't do this...you can't do that...do as you are told and be a good mediocre civilian citizen.

Then John realized he'd better buy a pistol and carry it because his neighbor was robbed, beaten, raped or brutalized, and the police did not come in time for anything but the report. Being a father and a husband, he did have a glimmering of the understanding of responsability.

So he went to the local gunstore and allowed the patronizing oversized cigar-smoking salesman to talk him into buying a double action only Smith and Wesson because it had several safeties and a real heavy and long trigger pull. "It is great for a mediocrity-seeking civilian like you John", announced the salesman as he wiped doughnut juice on his dingy Local Police Revolver Club t-shirt.

John asked about the Glocks and XDs and M&Ps that looked so modern and cool, and about how many bullets the clip held.

"Oh no...those are for professionals son....you are a civilian...you don't need anything like that. And why do you need more than seven rounds son. You're not gonna go commando on us are you?".

Being a mediocrity seeker, and not wanting to be guilty of the sin of arguing, John blushed and chuckled nervously. He bought the Smith and Wesson and went home. He did go to a free handgun clinic at the local range taught by an ex-security guard after he passed his CCW class. But all the guy talked about was how he would get sued if he ever shot anyone so not to shoot anyone. John went to that range a couple of times and shot one round per second like a good mediocre citizen.

Someone told him about more comprehensive classes teaching gunfighting, but John laughed nervously again. Shaking his head he told himself, I am not a gunfighter...I am just a civilian...what do I need to do with gunfighting?" He was a civilian and did not need to go to one of those "commando schools", or learn how to kill like that crazy ad said. He didn't like carrying a gun in the first place and was beginning to convince himself to just leave it at home. That is what his wife would want even though she had allowed him to buy the gun in the first place.

So John went on with his life doing his best to avoid bad things, bad places and bad people. But one day, as much as he tried, as much as anyone tries, trouble came to him. He found himself at church when some crazy terrorist decided today was going to be Judgement Day. After shooting the pastor in the head, he began shooting people in the crowd. The congregation was also full of mediocrity seekers, and those that did not get shot outright, ran away like properly conditioned civilians are trained to do.

But John was torn about running with the rest of the herd, or fighting. He drew his pistol and tried to aim it but it felt strange in his hands....after all civilians did not need to train like Delta Force so John had spent his free time playing tennis and watching television instead. He wondered if he was ready to do what he was thinking of doing. At that moment a round from the terrorist caught his frozen wife right in the face and dropped her dead at his feet. As he turned open-mouthed, to see her die, three rounds hit him in the chest, two piercing his heart.....and the last thought that he had before he faded into blissfull unconscious death was,

"......but I am just a civilian".

If that is what you seek for yourself, do not let us interfere with your quest for mediocrity. But if that is not what you want, we can help you to be the best warrior you can be.

PROTECTING WHAT IS VALUABLE

Steve Collins - Suarez International Staff Instructor

The old saying "In the land of the blind, the One Eyed Man is King," sounds kind of mystical and philosophical, but having only one eye is no fun! While not very sexy, perhaps the most important pieces of range gear are eye and ear protection. You were only born with two eyes and two ears, so you need to protect them at all costs.

If you have older members of your family who have been shooters for a long time, more than likely they have suffered some measure of hearing loss; hearing protection was not in vogue for a long time. It was believed that ears would just "toughen up," when actually, they just went deaf! The effects of shooting on unprotected ears are well documented nowadays, and to go without is simply stupid. Ear protection is widely available. Everything from foam plugs that cost $0.50, to electronic ear muffs that allow you to hear normal sounds but shut down at loud noises (like gunfire.) You can also get custom made ear plugs that are made to the shape of your ear canal.

Electronic muffs start at about $60, and you go all the way up to almost $400, depending on the features you want. The electronic muffs allow you to hear range commands easily, reducing the chance of misunderstanding the instructor. This is more important than most people know. The human reaction to sounds they can't identify is to turn towards them. If you do this with a gun in your hand, you'll end up sweeping everybody else on the firing line. This will make you very unpopular, very quickly. Electronic muffs are cheap insurance, and will make your class time and range time more safe and enjoyable. The custom plugs are very compact, and comfortable to wear for long periods of time. They can also be made to hear normal sounds and block out louder noises, as well. "Doubling up," or using plugs and muffs, is a great way to protect your hearing, and I advise it, especially when shooting at an indoor range. This may all sound like a lot of money and effort, but it's better than being fitted for hearing aids or getting booted off a range because you couldn't hear commands.

Believe it or not, sometimes, guns DO have what we call catastrophic failures. Meaning, sometimes they blow up in one way or another, and the shooters face is on the receiving end. If you've never seen someones face after they've had a rifle bolt blow up in their face, think tenderized raw steak...straight off the cows backside. It's ugly, and sad. The only thing that can make it better is for your shooting glasses to take the punishment. I don't go near a firing line without eye protection on, and you shouldn't either.

I've worn Oakley protective eyewear since the mid-90s, and haven't seen any reason to change. I've worn them all around the world, and to more firing ranges than I can remember. They've never let me down, and the lenses are easily changeable for shooting in lowlight, overcast or sunny conditions. Oakley isn't the only company out there, obviously; protective glasses are made by a variety of companies, and are available just about everywhere. It's important that they have a wraparound feature, to prevent foreign objects from coming in on the side of your glasses. Nothing is more annoying than getting something in your eye while on the firing line, especially when you still have a gun in your hand. Good shooting glasses will also be able to resist severe impacts from flying brass or ricochets. Having been hit in the face from ricocheting bullet particles, I was extremely thankful for the eye protection I had on. Most instructors won't allow you into class without eye or ear protection, and that is with good reason.

Scrimping on good eye and ear protection is like scrimping on a good holster. Find somewhere else to save money; don't sacrifice your eyes and ears just to save a few bucks.